I once thought that no matter what I went through in life, sanity was guaranteed. After all, the Bible asserts, “You have not been given a spirit of fear but of love, of power and of a sound mind.”1 But in the fall of 2017, at 31 years old, I tried to make sense of my husband’s suicide while caring for my five children (ages 8 down to 3 months), I learned how much work it takes to retain soundness of mind. It doesn’t always come automatically.

I realize now that I was living with a spirit of fear; I was being controlled and crippled by it. Doctors assigned me labels and prescribed medications, but there was no medicine that could help me make sense of the deep matters of my heart, or could increase my faith or decrease the loneliness. No pill bottle contained the solution that would heal such deep pain.

How could I cling to the promise that I had been given a “sound mind” while riddled with fear and confusion?

Curiosity led me to look up the Greek word for ‘sound mind’. The word is σοφρονισμος (so-phro-nis-mos), and it doesn’t just mean ‘sound mind’ but “an admonishing or calling to soundness of mind, to moderation and self-control.” The root of the word is “to restore one to his senses.” Those words – admonishing, calling, restoring – helped me see that this Scripture is not promising that soundness of mind will always be immediate. Rather, it is permission to admit, “I’m not okay yet, but I have faith that I will be.”

In this verse I see a promise that the door to sanity and mental stability is always open for the believer, but there is no guarantee that it will be easy. It is a journey, but the door to mental soundness is always open. There is no shame in the journey, but we must wrestle with the deep matters of our heart. There are rich rewards for those who do the work – greater strength of character, deeper intimacy with the Father, and true shalom.

We must also “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Messiah.”2 What trouble we experience when we let a spirit of fear invade us and neglect to take every thought captive, interrogate it, and identify whether it came from the Spirit, from our own imagination, or from the enemy.

This life is a war zone and the battlefield is the mind. This is easy to forget while going about our day-to-day lives. In between cooking, cleaning, errands, work, and fun, we must pause and remember that we have a spiritual enemy that hates us and wants to destroy our peace. The main tactic he uses to accomplish this is lying thoughts, and we can see the consequences of this on all sides.

According to the CDC, suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States. Every sexual sin begins as a lustful thought. Pornography use and sexual assault crimes are at an all-time high. Depression and anxiety run rampant. So we must learn – and teach our children – how to fortify our hearts and minds in the Word of God if we hope to destroy lying thoughts and experience the abundant life available to us through Yeshua.3

In the spring of 2020, I was living in Ohio, where I attended Beth Tikkun Messianic Fellowship and I had the privilege of attending Robin Luton’s class on The Woman of Valor. I’ll never forget the way she presented this woman who is described in Proverbs 31. This model woman was not just skilled at doing her duties, but was a vibrant, compassionate, Spirit-filled woman, who I knew was waiting to be awakened inside of me. Robin described how every day, just as we get up and dress according to what we plan to do that day, so too we must prepare ourselves for the day by putting on strength and dignity as a garment.4

Thankfully, we are only asked to get through twenty-four hours per day, and a third of that ideally goes toward sleep. Our brains desperately need this much sleep each day. It is incredibly restorative to mental soundness. In fact, when Elijah wanted his life to end, a long nap and a good meal turned things around for him.5

If I could go back to when I first became a single mom – a very traumatized, young, fear-ridden, single mom – I made myself prioritize sleep. I had to keep life simple, to cut out extra activities, to say “no” more often than “yes” in order to get good sleep. I made myself eat genine whole foods even if I didn’t feel like it. I made myself go outdoors often and, when possible, walk barefoot in the grass to help de-stress. I also committed 5-10 minutes each day for deep breathing exercises.

Learn to enjoy daily mundane tasks: the dishes, laundry, and cooking. (Music and audiobooks help!)

And learn to enjoy solitude. How many of us have reached a point of spiritual maturity where we are comfortable being alone with ourselves in the quiet? Though challenging at first, it is worth the pursuit because it is how to increase our connection with our Creator and with ourselves.

This is a challenge for most people, but to find mental soundness you must give yourself plenty of grace. You must wake up every day knowing that as a fallen human being in a fallen world, you are going to mess up. The Father, to have a relationship with us, makes room for our shortcomings. We must do the same in order to have a sound mind. We essentially must become our own best friend, learning healthy self-care so that we don’t find ourselves on a path we never intended to take. Likewise, we must make room for one another’s shortcomings if we want to have healthy relationships.

Robin also taught that the Woman of Valor is aware of what resources Hashem has (and has not) provided her with, and then she does not fret over what she wishes she lacks. No, the Eshet Chayil – the Woman of Valor – gets to work with what she has been given to address the problems that are hers and hers alone to solve. She does not exhaust herself trying to solve all the problems in the world. The Spirit guides her to know what she is capable of and what she has been called to do, and then she goes forth in confidence knowing that she is the right person for the job.

I don’t know what life would have been like if I had gone through the summer of 2020 without Robin’s teachings. It was then that my oldest daughter told me her stepdad had sexually assaulted her. More than ever, I needed to know that each day I had a choice before me: either to don the strength and dignity offered to me as a believer, or to be crushed under the weight of it all; to gather the resources available to me and trust the Lord with the rest, or just stare bewildered into space; to accept that I could not change the past, or to do my best to give my children their best life from that point on.

After leaving our counselor’s office one day, I asked my oldest daughter if life is still worth living with everything she had been through.

She said yes.
So we do our best to “forget what is behind and press on toward what is ahead.”

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Yeshua, so that the life of Yeshua may also be manifested in our bodies.7

Last fall I started a magazine-journal for young ladies (15-30-year-olds) and young ladies at heart! Part magazine, with inspirational quotes, articles and stories; part journal with space for creative writing, scripture notes, prayer lists, monthly and daily calendars, activity pages, and space to draw. Shalom Magazine encourages its readers to take a break from screens and discover there is a whole world to be explored in the heart of the Father, and a world to be discovered and explored in the heart of the reader as well. Let this be solace for your soul, a retreat from the loud, chaotic world around you, a space to slow down, breathe deeply, rest and be recharged and encouraged before venturing back out to shine like “lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15).

And last, but not least, I highly recommend learning how to pray. In 2019 I began using a prayer book for the first time and my prayer time grew from minutes to hours. I have been a believer since as far back as I can remember, but my closeness to God was stunted by an inactive prayer life. I am amazed that our Father wants to be close with each of His children; that He does not have favorites. He just promises that as we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us, and in His presence is peace, love and joy – all of which is a restorative for the weary soul.

Being my own best friend has come to look like:

• Finding a reason to smile each day
• Prioritizing good sleep
• Creating and enjoying healthy meals with my family
• Creating a beautiful home and life for with my family
• Moving and breathing deeply … often
• Listening to my body and slowing down when needed, especially on Shabbat
• Getting fresh air and sunshine each day

• Building a home apothecary to enhance the health of myself and my family
• Going for a walk in the woods when possible
• Practicing gratitude
• Planning fun little outings and taking family vacations
• Going to hear my favorite musicians in concert
• Finding creative outlets like journaling, painting, and drawing
• Reading good books, especially The Good Book
• Being on guard against the spirits of fear and bitterness and anything else that is not from the Father
• Fellowshipping with like-minded friends and family regularly
  Consider making your own list of some of the ways (big and small) that can help you along on the journey to consistently choose sanity.

  Resources

  Simonette Cherapanov is the author of Back to Eden: Renewing Your Mind: A 21 Journey to Transformation. As an accompaniment to her book Back to Eden Lifestyle Reset videos can be found on YouTube or at www.sevenlampwellness.com. Many are finding healing and true change through Simonette’s ‘Back to Eden Reset’!

  Dr. Alphonzo Monzo, BND, based in Medina, Ohio, can help people remotely as well. He was instrumental towards helping me find mental stability when extreme depression and anxiety hit hard. He has helped my children and me with numerous other health issues over the years and is doing great work. His Aleph Tav Body Book should be in every home to address emotional, mental, spiritual, social and physical issues. Visit his website at www.well-beingbydesign.com.

  Valor: A Messianic Journey Through Proverbs 31, by Robin Luton A copy of this book should be in every home as well! Here is the link to purchase: Valor: A Messianic Journey Through Proverbs 31: Luton, Robin R., Luton, L. Grant: 9798690429898: Amazon.com: Books

  The Path to Loneliness, by Elizabeth Elliot. Another great book to help cope with loneliness, pain, and loss.

Shalom Magazine: A Magazine Journal for Young Ladies

FOOTNOTES

1- 2 Timothy 1:7
2- 2 Corinthians 10:5

3- See Philippians 4:6-7

4- Proverbs 31:25

5- 1 Kings 17

7- 2 Corinthians 4:7-10